For me, suicide is many things. It’s mixed feelings such as hate, regret, blame, selfishness, pain, and uncertainty.
This is a tough subject all across the board. I had never encountered a death like this until last year, when one of my students took his life. Not only did he take his life, but he also shattered hundreds of hearts. It was a difficult pill for me to shallow because death hadn’t hit me so close.
It was hard for me to imagine what my student was going through, his pain, how long he kept his feelings hidden, how long and how hard he had been suffering. As an educator I also blamed myself for not noticing his hurt. For being distracted.
This morning, as I walked towards my car to begin my journey to school, I noticed how beautiful the sunrise was. There was majestic feel to the way the warm colors stood. It made me feel so thankful that God not only gave me another day, but that I didn’t take it for granted.
Life is hard. Life is mean. Life is unfair. Trust me I know.
I always think of the Gossip Girl episode when Chuck tell Blair, “Did you expect me to say it then (I love you?)” and Blair responds, “Yes and when you didn’t I wanted to die.”
I have felt like Blair before. But, living is worth more. Living allows you to fix or bend broken feelings and hearts. Death makes it impossible to heal.
I encourage everyone to choose life. I encourage everyone to seek comfort. I encourage everyone to speak out and discuss this topic with teachers, friends, family members, loved ones, your dog. I encourage everyone to live.
*Oh and the sunrise photo was taken as part of my Instagram filter challenge. It was taken in Mayfar.