To my Secret Admirer

In the past I have posted about my personal life. I would like to continue, here and there, as certain life events take place.

This past week some major things happened to me. Those major things were Reality and Hope, a two-for-one deal so great, I feel I’ll never be the same.

On Friday, I was delivered flowers, to work with a note that was so dear and heart warming it made me believe in love and romance all over again. (Here’s some background information for those of you that are new to the site: In my life I have loved only one man with all my heart and all my soul. I lived a great 5 years with him. Until he shattered my world and left me unexpectedly for another person. I cried, I was hurt, I entered depression, but after two years I started living again. And although my life was shaken by his betrayal living wasn’t horrible anymore and it was worth it.)

Here’s the piece of reality. After two years he’s come forth to apologize. When he did I felt like the overcast clouds I was living under disappeared and a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders. It’s when I started living again. Our conversation was, although hurtful and painful; necessary and we reached an understanding. But on Saturday, I saw him, with another girl. I felt indifferent. Nonetheless, that was reality. That was moving on.

Here’s the piece of hope. There is someone out there, whoever it might be, whoever it’s supposed to be; who will come during the right time, the right place and be imperfectly perfect for your beautifully damaged life. And suddenly nothing in the past will matter. What will matter is here and now. It might sound silly and you can choose not to believe me, but every night since my ex left me, I would get on my knees and I would pray to God wholeheartedly. I’d ask him to put forth in my path a man, but not just any man, a man worthy and deserving. A man who knows God.

And Friday, I’m not sure if God himself sent me those flowers as a sign to tell me, “it’s coming Aley, hang on.” Better days are coming, I can sense it because when I was feeling (again) pretty low about seeing my ex I came home and read the letter my secret admirer sent me and I automatically thought: patience.

I contemplated calling every flower shop in town asking who had delivered flowers to my job, but then my best friend told me, that those flowers were a sign. She added that the person who sent them admires me and they will come forward when the time is right and if he doesn’t then I should take it as a nice guy trying to brighten my day.

So secret admirer, I’ll wait.

Until then, I’ll re-read your letter, and I hope you don’t mind I share it with other lonely girls just like me.

“These flowers I send to you have been selected. They can brighten up anyone’s day with their outstanding color affect. Yet, they lack sunshine to keep them alive and healthy, a warm enviornmet that will over protect. Warmth and sunshine that can only be better obtained from a beautiful smile from your person, complimented by a couple of gorgeous dimples, adding up to an attractive expression, that can even when these flowers decide to tarnish, to them, it will be unreasonable to forget. Feeding life and color from a pair of sensitive eyes, yet in every day life, they are very appealing. Eyes so clear, relaxing and warmly deep like the heart of a summer sunset. Eyes that are truly heart stealing. I send these flowers to you so they can live, live aside a beautiful woman with no imperfection whatsoever. With your glamour and your charm, they will survive, and to them it will be just the perfect weather.”