Self hope


Once school begins there’s no downtime. Ironically enough it’s also the season where I seem to find myself the most organized. For me, it’s back to day planning, schedules, and occasional double-bookings. Even though I hate to admit it–I love to stay busy.

One thing I absolutely love to do once school starts is get back to my daily routine of working out after work. I’ve been an athlete all my life (as far as I can remember) so it’s only natural that I want to keep form. Although now that I’m older staying in “shape” isn’t easy. To add to the difficulty of looking the part, I’ve entered into this fashion blogger industry (willingly) where I’m finding girls that are gorgeous, lean, fit, well-kept, and most importantly confident! Which blows me out of the water. But, I’m trying.

However, this all makes me feel self-conscious about how I look. Yes I know what you are thinking, I’m thin, so what’s the big deal? The huge misconception people often have with thin girls is that we are happy with how we look; when in reality the closer I’ve looked at myself I see big thighs and a big butt. Those are the parts of me that I often consider unnecessary and sometimes unwanted.

For starters, finding the perfect pair of jeans is always my downfall. I can’t seem to find bottoms that pull over my thighs, hips, and butt, but still manage to compliment my waist. It’s a nightmare. Naturally I can’t fathom wearing shorts let alone short-shorts. You know, with my thighs stinking out and my butt about to poke someone’s eye out. Ugh.

I often think why am I proportioned there specifically.

It’s true what they say, we are our own worst enemy. I’m no exception. I sit and look at my pictures after a great photo session and I point out all my flaws. It’s usually where my thighs hang out, where my butt looks like way too much, or where my waist isn’t thin. Trust me when I say that at times my finger trembles before hitting publish because I feel that insecure about what I’m going to post.

Then, as I’m skimming through endless Instagram accounts or pages of magazines, I notice women (empowering) who flaunt what they have without regret, without excuse, without explanation. For example at like plus-size company, Dia&Co, the women featured are fearless, beautiful, and man do they seem happy. So I got to thinking, I don’t just want to wonder how those women do it, I want to be one of them. I want to be happy in my own body (working out or not).

I want to buy those jeans and showcase my assets (pardon the pun). I want to feel comfortable being me in those shorts.

So world, take me as I am, I’m here. Oh and I’m not apologizing for wearing those tight-jean shorts. Enjoy the thigh hanging out in all it’s glory. Let’s be thankful for who we are, what we’re made of, and the reason why we are built the way we are.

How about you put your body first and Try-Day-Friday, step outside of your comfort zone and wear something you’ve never thought you’d see yourself in. Tomorrow is the Friday to do it and if you need uplifting, check out Dia&Co and be inspired, just like I was.

Keep me on my toes and I’ll cheer you on as well.  As always.

Photos by Josh Roesener Photography




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