Friday stroll

Yesterday it literally rained cats and dogs. We’ve been pretty blessed this year with the amount of rain Kansas has received. So there’s nothing to complain about.

My day was spent shopping at Target and TJMAXX. I’m excited to show you all some of the things I’ve picked up. I’m also going to try to be more creative with IG and possibly post a haul on my findings.

In the meantime I’m excited to blog about this top I picked up from Loft. I’ve been shopping there lately because I’m absolutely in love with their petite section. It’s amazing and figure forming. I mainly shop here for my teacher wardrobe, but I enjoy a top that is perfect for a Friday afternoon stroll.

Micah and I are heading to his buddy’s wedding up state. It’s gonna be a great weekend road trip con mi vida. Wishing you the best. See you Monday. As always.

Advertisements

Summer training

I used to pride myself on my body and work ethic on maintaining a healthy and active lifestyle. Since I’ve grown older and the more responsibilities I’ve had to tackle on, I’ve realized that I’ve majorly neglected my body. This school year was a little rough for me because I found myself with a lot on my plate. It’s nice to keep active work wise, but once May hit me I realized that I had entered a mild state of depression.

Self-doubt and even self-worth slowly started to climb into my head. I tried my hardest to ignore this vague feeling by mounting another task or by simply taking a nap. I would look at myself in the mirror after a long day and I would just feel self-conscience about who was looking back at me. Needless to say I was depressed. Great! I didn’t have time to be depressed. What I didn’t realize was that me not giving myself a chance to fully acknowledge the fact of what I was feeling, was just making things worse.

As the school year came to a close I was determined to go back to my daily routine of at least running a couple of miles of running and so came today as the first day of “Aley getting her life on track because she cares about herself.” It felt nice to run a total of .5 miles. It felt nice to squat a total of 5 times. It felt good do a total of 20 Russian Twists. Yay!

And… with sweat coming down my face, I smiled to myself, and that ladies and gents felt good!

I know sometimes we get caught up with work and our daily lives consume us, that we forget what truly makes us who we are. I encourage you to take the time to breath, to enjoy yourself, to get back in the gym, get back to tending that garden, to reading that book, to those bubble bathes, to laughing, to pausing, gosh darn it you deserve it. Don’t ignore signs of fatigue, loneliness, guilt, worthlessness.

Listen to yourself. Please yourself. That’s the only person that truly matters.

I’m here for you, as always,

16324

  • Sports bra= Adidas
  • Leggings= Bally Brand found at Kohl’s
  • Running shoes= Nike
  • Jacket =Adidas

Life itself

It seems so selfish to go about my life as if I’m the only one who worries, is stressed out, is busy, or is conflicted. I feel as if every time I blog I have to boast about how busy I am or how complicated my life has been because of this or that.

Today upon opening my e-mails, our administrator informed the school about a recent death. He was a student. He was a son. He was a brother. He was a friend.

Suddenly everything that I’ve been dealing with lately seemed so small.

We were asked to talk to the students about anxiety, stress, and depression.

So here’s my chance to be uplifting, inspirational, caring, kind. And…. I blew it. I read talking points. The students just stared at me like deer caught in taillights.

The truth is, it’s hard to talk about suicide. It’s hard to know what the right thing to say is during a time of confusion. Pain like this is tough. I feel for my students because they are young and life is giving them difficult challenges. Some of them are having to grow up too fast. Some of them are oblivious to hardships. Some of them are independent. Some of them don’t feel they have a voice. What’s harder is that as a teacher, an adult, a mentor, I can’t always relate to them. This is where I’m conflicted because I’m at a loss as to what to say, how far can I invade their personal bubble, how long do I stay present?

It seems that during a death like this there are a million and one questions everyone asks, like why, just for starters. And me? I don’t have all the answers to the way the universe moves.

I sat back down after my award-winning speech on “I’ll be there for you,” and contemplated my struggles, my fears, my moment of depression. For one second, I realized that when depression kept turning off the lights in my life, I wanted to drown myself in sorrow. I wanted so desperately to feel. When that intoxicating desire to feel something took over I was a goner. Next thing I knew I was in the shower shaving my legs and the razor “accidentally” cut my ankle. I didn’t flinch. Instead, I watched as a tiny river of red ran down my leg and into the drain. After that I was addicted to that feeling. Why? Because I could feel something. I wasn’t numb anymore.

So it was back to the shower, time and time again. I never cut too deep, just enough to feel. I was playing with my life. It wasn’t until one evening my mom came home from work and hugged me. She said, let’s go get ice cream. Beyond my endless eye rolls, we went. We had a conversation about nothing. She talked while she savored her chocolate ice cream cone about how growing up she always wanted to explore the African jungle. I asked her why? And she said just because it’s something I know I’ll never get to see. I was puzzled. Why on Earth did my mother have a dream that wasn’t worth achieving. Intrigued, I asked her to explain?

She went on to say that sometimes we have a dream so big and unreachable that it gives us hope. It makes us get up every morning and work hard. It makes us cling to ourselves and to make peace with knowing that God’s will is what we should want.

God’s will. God? Oh yea? (smirk) Then the light switch got turned back on.

I suppose the point of all of this is that sometimes we feel like nothing will matter, like nothing makes sense, like nothing we do can help save a life. Who knew a hug, ice cream, and a unreachable dream would save my life. Give it meaning.

Maybe I should have talked to my students about my struggles to find hope. On the other hand maybe the talking points were enough. Everyone is different. Everyone loves, thinks, acts, feels, and moves differently. That makes us who we are. For me during a time of struggle, like this one, it’s not to necessarily try to understand, but to be there. To help by lending a listening ear. To be present. To be a smile. To be in this life.

On Sunday during church sermon it was said that we always hear the famous words of Mother Teresa, “God wouldn’t give you anything you can’t handle,” and it’s true in a sense. But in reality we should consider God not giving us anything He can’t handle. So we should give Him our troubles. He’s ready. He’s able. He’s for us. Give it to him. Or give it to me and I’ll pass it on to Him.

As always,

With blue

This is yet another old outfit from some file photos that appeared they were lost. I’m glad I’m now finding them because it makes me feel productive when it comes to blogging. We both know I haven’t been very good at keeping everyone updated. I’m trying. Just give me a break.

These photos take me back to the day I purchased this top from JCPenney. I usually buy items like these because they can work in so many settings from work to date nights. It’s timeless pieces like these that really make me fall in love with clothing each and every day. Another reason why I enjoy this top so much is because of the vibrant blue and how well it flows even during windy days. The moment I wore it to school, my students gave me so many compliments. When that happens, I repeat the top, so that’s why I wore it around town.

It’s a gloomy day, but that’s not keeping me from getting things accomplished. As always.

17246935

12 reasons

Micah came to hug me before school today. In hand he held beautiful lavender tulips. All to my liking. Like most days, when I see him, my heart flutters. But this morning was different as we’ve hit a milestone. One Year. Twelve Months. It’s been such an amazing journey with him. We both agree that it hasn’t always been easy and sometimes we’ve questioned if we like each other. But, through it all our love remains constant, caring, forgiving, and everlasting.

Today, we share what we’ve learned from each other during these 12 months.

12 Things I’ve learned about love and Aley:

Things I’ve learned about love…

  1. Love means putting someone else first, but still being yourself. You do not need to try to be the person you think they want. If they love you they want you as is.
  2. Love can be something as simple as watching soccer on TV instead of hoops.
  3. Love is knowing that you still want them to be yours even when you are fighting or upset.
  4. Love makes you see people differently. When you like someone you look for what is wrong with them, when you love someone you look for what is right with them.
  5. Love can be silly.
  6. Love is holding someone accountable to the person they should be.

Things I’ve learned about Aley…

  1. Aley is beautiful. Even though she does this blog she doesn’t believe it all the time. When I first met her I knew she was pretty. Now that I know her I understand her beauty.
  2. She says yes too much. She feels bad telling people no. I’m guessing that’s the only reason she went out with me.
  3. Sometimes she’s crazy.
  4. She cares so much about family. Not just her parents and brothers, but extended family as well.
  5. Watching her swim is comical. She treads water as well as a brick.
  6. She is everything I want.

12 Things I’ve learned about love and Micah:

Things I’ve learned about love…

  1. Love is the cure of all fears, doubts, and insecurities. Letting someone into your heart is scary, but the right person will know exactly how to be your safe haven.
  2. Loving someone’s flaws draws you closer to them. We are all flawed.
  3. Love tells you it’s okay to be crazy
  4. Love is universal it knows not of age, culture, or language
  5. Love is accepting
  6. Love is complicated yet so simple. Sometimes following your heart leads you to find a passion filled so much reward and promise.

Things I’ve learned about Micah…

  1. Micah’s devotion to Jesus is admirable.
  2. Micah is passionate. He will always give you a 100%.
  3. Whether he admits it or not, he owns way to many shoes, even more than I do.
  4. Micah likes to eat, even when it’s my no good cooking.
  5. When I first met Micah, I didn’t think he was human. He’s handsome beyond measure and he’s organized. That intimidated me. Now that he’s let loose, I appreciate his perfect imperfections.
  6. He’s everything I need and more.

San Francisco Part 3

The last time I posted I showcased an outfit I wore to a very unique place.

Today, I’d like to share what my post “through the garden” was all about.

The Japanese Tea Garden.

Now, I know a thing or two about culture. There is beauty in tradition, customs, and belief’s. I’m proud of where I’m from. Yet, I always marvel at other cultures. I know it might not seem like too much to awe about and maybe I’m being a little ignorant, but my visit to the Japanese Tea Garden filled me with wonder. By wonder I mean, admiration at the Japanese culture, their surroundings, and their history. It’s rich. It’s vibrant. It’s fascinating.

The garden was filled with beautiful trees and landscapes, stone lanterns, and structures that literally made me feel as if I was in another world. There was a certain peace and tranquility to this area. This took me to meditate on life.

I’ve been doing that a lot lately… pondering. I’m just lucky I was able to see this garden and even more so that I have these images to help remind me of where I’ve been.

As always.

15782493

In the forest

205

Today’s post brings us back to the Muir Redwood Park in San Francisco. Yesterday I mentioned how much I enjoyed visiting this area because I marveled at the beauty of nature.

Today I want to talk about what I wore during the nature walk. I didn’t know this, but San Francisco is notorious for unexpected weather. Go figure, just like Kansas. The weather cooperated the majority of the time I was visiting San Fran. Some days were warm, others cool, other days moist. I didn’t know what it would be like. Much to my surprise leggings were my go too item.

During the nature walk I wore these leggings, which are my favorite because they are thick enough to be warm, but also comfortable enough. In addition, I wore my utilitarian jacket almost everywhere, especially to the park because where the sun didn’t hit–I shivered. One of my favorite brands in active wear is Under Armour, which is where my top is from.

Lastly, I rocked my Royals baseball cap, mainly because I missed home and partly because I wanted to sport a little piece of back home.

This outfit made for walking the park easy, comfortable, and flexible, which is what I needed in order to enjoy every inch of these giants.

Sorry I’m posting so late, as always.

202201203206